Summer is finally upon us!
I love warm weather. I love sun. I love the beach.
Sadly Iowa doesn’t provide me with great beaches, but that’s what planes are for!
In high school and college I was a lifeguard and loved spending literally 12 hours a day at the pool or the lake.
I had drawers of swimsuits and would pop one on and be out the door.Then somewhere post babies my attitude about summer and swimwear changed.
I didn’t feel so great about putting on a suit and heading to the pool.
In fact, I missed several summers of pool time because I didn’t feel confident about how I looked.
I realized that my absolute favorite season had become a season that I now both loved and hated.
The sun and light made me happy, but I wished I could stay covered up in jeans and sweaters.
Peeling off the layers of clothing wasn’t something I was ever ready for. And every freaking year around March I would vow that I was going to “get in shape” so I could enjoy summer.
And March, April and May would come and go and I would enter summer upset with myself that I once again hadn’t gotten myself ready.
“Why can’t I get my shit together?” was the thought in my mind.
I finally decided to get to work and study myself, and study the behaviors around food, exercise, and mindset that were holding me back.
That began my 15 year journey into the world of mind and body fitness.
I learned that willpower was never going to be enough.
I learned that my cravings were trying to tell me something more than I love chocolate.
I learned that I needed to find exercise that I liked, not what anyone else said I should do. PTL I could stop trying to become a jogger!!
And most importantly I learned that there wasn’t a magic weight that was going to make me happy. I learned that lesson in a very, very hard way. Happiness had nothing to do with my weight.
If anything I’ve said resonates with you, please know that I understand.
I know the struggle. I know how much you want a different outcome.
And I know how tired and worn down you feel from being on the constant rollercoaster.
If you’re ready to take the next step click here to set up a time to visit with me about where you are and where you want to be. calendly.com/sherryvanantwerp/30min
Let this be the summer that you decide to find your best self and love her to pieces.
Let go. Let love.
This is too big, that is too lumpy, this is wrinkly, that is…well that is just plain nasty. Sound familiar?
We are pros when it comes to looking at ourselves and making judgments.
But what if we tried spending equal energy looking after ourselves?
More time appreciating what we do have, more energy on getting ourselves healthy, moving, enjoying life!
You have a choice. Keep looking at yourself, or decide it’s time to really look after yourself…mind, body, soul.
Losing weight and getting fit can happen with the right tools and it doesn’t have to be complicated.
“Step right up, folks!!”
“Eat this ONE potent food every morning if you are serious about losing belly fat!”
“Learn what 5 foods to NEVER eat and stay lean forever.”
“Cut down 10 pounds of stomach fat in 1 week by following this 1 easy rule!”
That’s right, folks, all the magic awaits you inside the big top!
See these amazing feats of human accomplishment happen right before your eyes!
Step right up, folks, and make your purchase now—you do NOT want to miss this opportunity!
I wish I could say that I just made up these claims, but I didn’t. They aren’t made up. These are actual claims from products that landed in my inbox over the last week.
No wonder people are so confused about what to do to become more fit and more healthy and why they feel like a failure when it doesn’t happen so “easily.” After all, isn’t everyone capable of losing 20 pounds in 12 days?!?!
All the hype is total BS!
The Reality of Weight Loss
Losing weight isn’t complicated. It’s really not.
It’s a simple formula, but simple does not necessarily mean easy. Does losing weight take effort? Absolutely. Does it have to be complicated and turn your life upside down? Absolutely NOT.
And you shouldn’t feel like a failure if you’re losing weight at a slow, steady, healthy pace. Forget these shows that tell us losing 5, 10, or even 15 pounds in one week is “reality.”
The mindset and expectation around weight loss have become very distorted.
If you were 15-20+ pounds lighter in 6 months (and it was actual fat and inches that you lost, not just water manipulation) and you did it without eating Frankenfood from a box, or cooking entirely different meals for yourself than for your family, would that be a win?
And if you learned how to shift your thinking, and create plans of action that you could use for the rest of your life, would that be a good thing?
And if that was the last time that you ever had to start “over” on weight loss again, would that make you happy?
These three statements above are actually true. This is reality. This is how permanent, sensible change happens. No magic. No BS.
How to Get Started with Healthy Weight Loss and Fitness
Here are 3 quick tips to help get you out of the 3 Ring Fitness Circus:
1) Eat like you love yourself.
Here’s a quick hack to implementing this in your life. If your 5-year-old child, or grandchild asked, “Can I eat the whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s?”, you’d most likely tell them why that is a bad idea. We also wouldn’t let them eat a bag of chips, three Twinkies, and four fun size Snickers while washing it down with half a bottle of wine! We place limits on them because we want the best. Aren’t you worth the best, too?
2) Stop following social media sites that make you feel “less than.”
Consider this to be a mental closet purge if you will. Let’s face it, Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat have all created a lot of fitness- and beauty-obsessed “stars.” Reality check: don’t compare their highlight reel to your everyday reality. It’s marketing, smoke and mirrors, more BS. From my time in the fitness world, I know how hyped this can get. My pictures from the stage as a figure competitor do not represent how I looked the other 364 days of the year, or how I looked a mere week after a competition. I lost myself for a time in this game of comparison. Unfollow, delete, hide … whatever you need to do to remove anything that currently makes you feel like you aren’t good enough. Don’t fall into the trap of calling it “motivation,” because that’s a slippery slope. And, it ISN’T motivating.
3) Only do exercise that is FUN!
Let’s face it, if it isn’t fun and enjoyable on some level you aren’t going to keep doing it. That’s the reality of human psychology. Consistency is the way to win the game. Find what you like and just start doing it consistently. It’s a way of training your brain and forming a new lifestyle. Lifestyles take much longer to shift so you have to do something that you won’t be bored with 30 days from now.
Guidance + Effort + Commitment = Success
You’ve been searching for a solution. I was, too. Now, I serve others looking for the reality in all the fitness, get-healthy craze and 3 ring circuses. I help clients with a custom-tailored, prescribed-specifically-for-them advice they need. And I can do this for you! If you’re ready to commit to making a change that will last, click HERE to schedule a 30-minute complimentary consultation with me so we can explore what’s possible for you.
In my work I have a lot of women start their journey with me feeling like they have been beaten up by life, overwhelmed, and struggling to find answers. They’ve been on a rollercoaster that has at times left them feeling defeated, that they’ve failed, or that they just can’t freaking figure out the answers.
Many of them have suffered losses that have sent them reeling. A divorce, the death or a parent, sibling, or friend, or the inevitable shift in relationship status with their growing children.
It’s often grief and sorrow they bear in addition to physical weight.
But here’s one thing they also all have in common…hope.
Inside they have a small flame, an inner knowledge that they cannot give up on themselves. They instinctively know that life can be different , and they aren’t willing to stop trying.
This is why I’m so proud of them, and why I’m proud of you.
Just by being here and reading this it means you have that same fire still burning inside of you.
One common trait of people that have long term success is that they have learned how to handle adversity and change. When change comes, or is needed, they have learned to focus on what they have to gain, rather than what they have to give up.
Essentially, they are optimistic.
This isn’t to deny that they have grief or pain, but they manage to find the light in the midst of the darkness.
In finding this light, they discover that it isn’t an external “secret fix” or “recipe for success” that they somehow stumble upon. What they learn is that the light is internal. That the more they look inside themselves, the more they will find happiness and contentment. As Jung said, “who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.”
In my own process of awakening I was blessed to have mentors that helped, and are still helping me, along the journey. It’s why I have chosen to serve women the way I do. Helping to release others from the burdens of self-judgment, living in a body they don’t love, and from the mental is what I am here to do.
My journey isn’t over, it never will be. Neither will yours.
But when you’re ready to begin, find a mentor to help you. Maybe that’s me, maybe it’s someone else. It doesn’t matter as long as you begin the journey.
You’re too valuable to spend another day living inside the dark cage.
Remember, I’m proud of you….now you go be proud of you.
Before you all think I’m looney tunes yes I know Zelda isn’t an actual person…fine lines between schizophrenia and ego…lol.
The reason I named her is because it helps me to remember that “I” am not Zelda.
“I” do not have to listen to her, and “I” have the power to send her into timeout as necessary.
So, Zelda is that voice of fear, worry, and doubt that plays in my head. The voice of ego.
Zelda loves her job and she’s really good at it. It is a pretty cushy position. I mean really, she basically gets to sit around buffing her nails and talking smack in my head.
Can anyone else identify with some of these favorite Zeldaisms?
“I eat like a cow.”
“I’m such a lard butt.”
“I hate that I can’t get myself together.”
“I’m such a loser.”
“I am the worst mom.”
I can raise my hand and say that I honestly have said all those things about myself at some point. I struggled for years with feeling like I was just half-assing my way through life. And Zelda was more than happy to confirm those feelings to me. Here’s how it would play out….
“Yep, you just ate a pint of ice cream…you are indeed a cow. And now you will for sure have a lard butt, in addition to thunder thighs, nice job. Seriously girl you are a hot mess, you’re never going to get your shit together. And congratulations on forgetting to pick the kids up from soccer today, excellent mom move. I’m sure they won’t be damaged from that.”
Here’s the massive problem that Zelda creates.
She puts us into a state of war with ourselves. Every. Freaking. Day.
The things Zelda says represent our fear, anger, sadness, sorrow and most of all incredible pain.
But what if we could try a new approach…
What if we could learn to treat ourselves with love and appreciation. Acknowledging that we are doing the very best we can. That we should be proud of journey, proud of every single step we take toward progress.
Here are 4 things to STOP doing that will put Zelda in timeout:
1) Stop being in a “battle” to lose weight.
2) Stop buying into the concept that success means getting out there and “crushing it.”
3) Stop believing that pain must be part of the process.
4) Stop comparing your everyday reality to someone else’s highlight reel.
All of these things stimulate the fight mentality. Fighting is incredibly draining, it gets old, it isn’t enjoyable.
If we approach doing things from a place of love, that is incredibly fulfilling.
Strive to lose weight because you love yourself and want to be healthy, not because you hate your butt.
Be successful by getting into the flow of life and seeing how it can unfold in amazing ways, not by clawing your way to the top.
Shift your perceptions. What once might have seemed painful can now be seen as opportunity, or even growth.
Love will always bring you more. Fear will always take away.
If you’re ready to shut Zelda up and begin the journey to loving yourself toward a better body and mental strength, let’s talk. There’s no obligation and no judgment, just an opportunity to talk about where you’re at. If it seems like we are a good fit, we’ll talk about how I can guide you and you’ll walk away with at least one golden nugget for yourself. Click here and enter CHAT TIME in the subject line, easy peasy.
But I’m going to drop some truth here…
Before you can get the weight off your thighs, you have to get the weight off your shoulders.
No magic shake, or fad workout is going to give you what your heart truly desires.
Getting “lean” isn’t the place where happiness is found. I’ve been there, done that, and literally got the trophy…and I still wasn’t free…
…because the weight on my mind and shoulders had gotten even heavier.
I was focused on all the wrong areas of health and happiness.
I get it, how we look does matter to us! And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel confident, happy and maybe even dare I say sexy?
But to get there, you have to face the hard stuff. Diet and exercise really aren’t the hard part…our minds make it hard because we are carrying a lot of weight around up there.
If you’ve been there, and you’re ready to make this the last time you start again…let’s talk.
My passion is helping women in their 40s and 50s shed the weight from their bodies and minds. If it’s your time to make the shift, I’m here to help lead you and support you on the journey.
Contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org to arrange a complimentary 30 minute session to chat about how we can work together to get the weight off you in all areas, without turning your life upside down.
All of life is a process of discovery. Midlife just packs a lot into a small timeframe.
Growing kids, aging parents, relationship changes, career doubts, and what’s happening to our bodies?!?!
All fun stuff right…
But it doesn’t have to feel like mission critical, crisis mode. It can be a time of discovering your true self, and showing up for you.
It doesn’t have to be laying awake at 3 am questioning every past and future decision.
Yeah, I’ve been there listening to that crazy voice in my head.
You aren’t alone. You can make this your time to shine, to find your confidence, to make courageous choices.
But every day you wait you stay stuck. And stuck absolutely sucks! I spent a lot of time there too.
As always, I’m here if you want to talk about out how to emerge from this cocoon as your new magnificent self.
Get ready to fly baby!
I used to say this ALL the time! I felt so incredibly “stuck.”
I felt like I couldn’t get my proverbial shit together.
Every day I felt like there was something missing in my life, but I couldn’t seem to define what it was.
Then I realized I was holding myself back because I was paralyzed by the fear of doing the wrong thing.
So instead I did nothing.
I eventually discovered that to find happiness, I had to have confidence and courage to make a move…any move, but just get life in motion!
What one small thing can you do to start moving you ahead?
Confidently and courageously make a move…and see what amazing things happen!
It somehow makes us feel better about our own weeds.
I’ve been through some fairly crappy times.
And had A LOT of people tell me my garden was a mess. But the reality was, I knew their garden had weeds too.
Don’t use someone else as a distraction tool for not taking care of your own mess.
Focus on your fertilizer (shit).
Support others when they are in the middle of their shit.
After all, everyone appreciates help when weeding, but no one appreciates the person who stands by the fence pointing out the weeds.